The day when couples celebrate their love can be very painful for those who don’t have that, perhaps because of a recent death, divorce, separation or because that one special person has not been found.
When people think of Valentine’s Day, initial images are of chocolates, flowers, lovely dinners, and quality time with a significant other. A simple celebration of love, with an emphasis on grand gestures. As exciting as this day can be for many, it can be particularly difficult for people navigating grief or loneliness.
The Commercialisation Impact
UNICEF noted it perfectly: Grief is usually exacerbated by holidays. Particularly ones that are heavily commercialized, like Valentine’s Day. When you go out you can’t avoid seeing the heart-themed items can be triggering, reminding us of the loss and loneliness we are experiencing.
This emotional reaction to triggers in your environment is normal and natural. Grief can be all-consuming and developing helpful coping strategies for these triggers will help you work through these difficult moments.
Coping Strategies and Self-Care
Developing a few different coping strategies this Valentine’s Day can make the daunting reality of grief feel less overwhelming.
Honour Your Loved One
If you have lost a loved one, creating new traditions or rituals can be helpful. It can be something as small as dancing to their favourite song or buying flowers and visiting where they are now resting. Remember to do what makes the most sense regarding the connection to them and yourself.
See if any friends are available, and enjoy an evening with them. Even hunkering down on the couch with a good film, in your favourite pajamas, and eating some comfort food is a great way to honour the love you have for yourself.
Practice Self-Compassion
It’s important to practice self-compassion during these times. Make it a priority to be gentle with yourself, understanding, and patient with what you are feeling. That can be by writing in a journal, meditating, cooking a nice meal, going for a walk in nature, or taking a luxurious bath.
Remember, Grief Takes Time
Remember that healing from grief is not linear and there is no time limit to these feelings. Each person grieves differently and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It’s important always to practice self-compassion and support whenever these feelings arise.
Reframing Valentines Day
Another way to reduce grief during Valentine’s Day is changing your perspective on what the holiday means. It can be more than simply celebrating your significant other. You can celebrate platonic love with your friends and familial love. All are valid forms of love experienced, and they deserve to be celebrated too.
Find Relief and Support During Holidays
Valentine’s Day can worsen feelings of grief. There are tangible ways to help you through these feelings to find some relief. Learning coping strategies or reaching out for professional support can give you the tools you need to address and work through these triggers, for this holiday and the ones to come.
