The isolation the bereaved often feel is often amplified by Christmas plans, due to restricted contact with friends who are busy with their families, spending more time alone at home and not having the possibility of distractions that can bring temporary relief to feelings of grief.
This all adds up to a particularly emotional and sad time for many of those affected. If you know someone, small acts of kindness, any contact will be a lifeline. If you feel uneasy because you don’t know what to say, you only have to say what you hear and see and let them talk. “I can see how lonely you are feeling”. “You really miss Joe – you loved him so much and he loved you too”. “I can’t take your sadness away but I am happy to sit with you”. Share memories. This gives validation to feelings and encouragement to keep on expressing them. You can’t fix anything, you can only be there, a gentle listener who isn’t avoiding the subject.
And if you are bereaved, perhaps you can pluck up the courage to make contact with neighbours and friends. People like to help. It’s OK to call and say “I’m having a particularly tough day today – I just need to hear another voice.”
It’s often unease and awkwardness that stops connection in both directions. You only have to be your authentic self, whichever one in the conversation you are.
“We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world–the company of those who have known suffering.” ― Helen Keller
Let’s make sure people are not isolated in their grief. If you can, don’t hesitate to make contact this Christmas.
